Super Smash Brothers: Melee Menaces
by Megun-chan
Summary: A new year, a new fanfiction. The latest story from Megun-chan follows the All-Stars as they prepare for the upcoming tournament. People were prepared for new fighters. NOBODY was prepared for sabotage....
1. Meet The Smashers

Hullo again, everyone! Sorry for the complete lack of updates on my other stories. Writer's block, y'see… And school… and X-mas… You get the idea. BUT, I have been working now and then on this piece of work. Yes, I realize the title is incredibly stoopid. Deal with it. It's slightly less insane than "Oh The Inhumanity!", but still has some of the same people, like JJ and Chrissy and me.

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Chapter One:

Meet the Fighters

~~~

__

Congratulations, future All-star! You have been invited to participate in the fourth annual Super Smash Brothers Melee tournament! Taking place on September the first, 2003, in the Mushroom Kingdom, this tournament will feature famed heroes and villains from across the Nintendo galaxy- and we MEAN it when we say "galaxy"!! You will each be pitted against another competitor, and you will fight to gain the title of "All-Star Champion"!! Do you have what it takes?

Your transportation to the Mushroom Kingdom will vary depending on your location (a letter will be forwarded to you a week ahead of time) and arrives in the middle of July, which leave plenty of training time! Be prepared to see some familiar faces as well as newcomers; We have selected many new competitors this year, just like last time!

Good luck: HAL Laboratories

~~~

It was eleven o'clock p.m., and the moon shone brightly down on the darkened dock. Most people preferred to use more modern space travel, forgetting the traditional ways of voyaging over the sea. Consequently, there were only two figures at the appointed dock on the foggy night the boat was destined to arrive. One was leaning against a lamppost, tossing the crumpled invitation up and down, a set of large and heavy duffel bags by their side. The person was actually a woman, very tall and skinny, with medium-length blonde hair in a high ponytail and bangs that covered one of two metal gray eyes. A dark trenchcoat covered a black and red halter-top and dark pants, making her seem very ominous. But not nearly as ominous as the creature perched on one of the storage houses a few meters away from the beginning of the landing. It was a large, hunched over dragon with large wings that were neatly folded behind his back. The dim lamplight illuminated two sunken, glowing yellow eyes and a narrow head.

In silence, the two waited. Finally, the woman stuffed the crumpled paper in her trenchcoat pocket and sighed with impatience.

"It's late," she snapped sourly, "If I have to spend another minute waiting here with _you_ I think I'll go ballistic."

"It'll be a pleasant change," the dragon shot back. "I'm no more happy about waiting here with you than you are."

The woman opened the letter again and reread it. "Cheesy as hell," she spat, and the dragon nodded, unseen. "Are you sure we don't have to keep these?" The dragon nodded again. The woman tossed her letter over her shoulder at the dragon. "Catch, Rid."

The Space Pirate General Ridley was all too willing to comply. With exceptional aim and precision, he shot a blast of molten energy at the paper. Within a second after the woman tossed it, the letter fell to the ground in the form of ashes. The woman was about to say something, but with a loud noise a large ship cut through the waters and stopped at the dock the two were waiting at. It seemed almost three miles long and almost a mile high, much like the _Nautilus_, but it was much wider. The _All-Star_ was indeed a very large and agile ship.

A rail came down from the ship onto the wooden dock, and someone hurried down it excitedly. He was very short and plump, even by the woman's standards, with a red shirt and cap and blue overalls. His mustache twitched when he spoke in that strange Italian accent the woman always hated.

"Ah, Miss Samus Aran!" he said, "It's wonderful to see you again!"

Samus rolled her eyes. "Likewise, Mario, and…" She gestured to Ridley, who had flown down from the roof and was standing behind her, "…I don't believe you've met the Toothpick before? He's been invited too."

If possible, Ridley's glare became even more intense. Mario seemed to take this as a threat, and narrowed his eyes. Ridley just snorted and hovered up the ramp into the ship.

"I'll get your bags, Samus," Mario began, but Samus stopped him.

"No… Well… You can get the bags I leave behind, I expect the boat won't wait long…" Samus nodded, and picked up the two fullest and heaviest bags and perched them on her shoulders. "Got my suit in them, you see…" She nodded, and walked up the ramp as easily as if she was carrying nothing at all.

Mario walked over to the other bags and, with a little difficulty, lifted them off the ground and jogged up the ramp after the bounty hunter. After the last passenger entered, the metal ramp withdrew into the ship, which promptly left port and vanished into the fog.

~~~

Ridley had stopped inside the entrance hallway, and looked around, surprised. "It's big," he said casually as Samus and Mario entered behind him.

"Big" was an understatement. Three each of Ridley and the Koopa King Bowser could walk shoulder to shoulder down the hall, and they wouldn't brush against the walls, and three Ganondorf's could stand on each other's shoulders and not bump against the ceiling.

"_Duh_," Samus pushed past her rival and set the bags down. "You and Bowser are the biggest ones here, of course it'd have to be big. Not to mention that there are frequent brawls in the halls, and there are twenty-something of us…"

"Thirty-something," Mario corrected her.

Samus turned around "_Thirty_?" She repeated.

"Yeah," Mario looked at a piece of paper in his pocket. "HAL sent this to us, 'cause, you know, we're hosting the tournament and all…" He looked at the paper closely. "Including the twenty-five competitors from the last few tournaments, we're including four new Nintendo characters, and seven from the outside world."

Samus snorted. "So we've got non-Nintendo characters competing?" She asked skeptically. "I don't know…"

Mario changed the subject. "Now, Samus, you know where everything is… Your room is in its usual place."

Samus winked and took the two bags Mario was holding, leaving him behind to give Ridley a tour of the main rooms. As she walked down the stairwell and down the hallways that her room was in, a high-pitched voice from a doorway behind her called out: "Samus."

Samus turned around, which was a difficult task because of her bags. Standing in the middle of the hall was a young girl in a pink dress and blonde hair, staring at her with large eyes. It took a few moments for Samus to recognize her, because she had only seen the girl on one occasion.

"Hey there, Paula," Samus nodded. "You're competing this year?"

Paula nodded. "I got an invitation a month ago. Originally, I didn't want to come, but Ness convinced me." She turned toward the open door. "Hey, everyone, Samus is here."

"About time!!" Another blonde in a pink dress stuck her head out the window. Unlike Paula, she had a crown on her head and was much older. "What took you, Samus?" she asked, "Everyone else is here!"

"Everyone, Peach?" Samus asked. "Are all thirty-something people crammed in that room?"

Peach scowled, "I meant all the _girls_," she retorted. "Me, Paula, Zelda, Katt, and Krystal. You're the last one to arrive."

She jumped out of the room and grabbed Samus's arm. "Come on, join us!"

Samus felt herself gulp. "No… Really, it's okay," She stammered, "I should put my bags away-"

But Peach had already dragged Samus through the doorway, and upon their entrance, someone shrieked and pounced on Samus, locking her in an extremely tight grip, and her vision was buried under a mass of blue fur.

"Samus you made it!!" A blue female fox with shimmering green eyes shouted happily. "Katt and I were so worried you wouldn't come!! It would have been so boring!! I'm so glad you're finally here!!"

"Oh come on," out of the corner of Samus's vision, she saw a pink cat shout over the noise of the television. Her silver hair, which was usually up in a ponytail, was hanging damply in front of her face and she had a white bathrobe on. "I'm not that boring…"

"And stop acting like a valley girl, Krystal. You're scaring me," a girl about Peach's age, who also had blonde hair and blue eyes spoke up. She could have been Peach's twin except her hair was straighter, and she wore a less frilly, lighter pink dress and a tiara.

Samus pried Krystal off of her and dumped her bags on the floor. Peach giggled excitedly. Paula sighed, returned to a rose red, plush chair and immersed herself in a large book.

"Nice to see you again, Zelda, Katt…" Samus nodded at the two, "But I should go ahead and put my bags in my room…"

"I know where it is," Paula spoke up. "It's across from mine. Your room doesn't have anyone in it, either."

"So we don't have roommates?" Samus asked, frowning slightly.

"No, we will," Paula replied. "But they're not coming on this boat."

"Well…" Samus picked up her bags. "I think after I put these up, I'll try to find some of the guys."

"Most of them will be in the lounge," Paula replied as she followed Samus out of the room. When Samus looked at her oddly, she hastily added, "That's where they were when I saw them last."

"Paula, I know you're psychic, but you're beginning to scare me…" Samus looked at her companion and unlocked the door on the right side of the end of the hall. 

The room was exactly as Samus remembered it. The rooms were fashioned to meet the inhabitant or inhabitants' requirements. Each of the rooms on the boat as well as in the castle had two queen-sized beds, plush lounge chairs, a writing desk, a large window with a window seat, two dressers and mirrors, and a door leading to a luxuriously furnished bathroom. In Samus's room, there was, as there had always been, a tall and wide cylindrical storage tank for her Varia Suit, which the quickly assembled from inside her bags and placed it in the cylinder. She had always had her own room, which didn't really bother her; she didn't spend much time in it anyways. After unloading the other two bags and putting the clothes into one of the dressers, she began to change into a large t-shirt and plaid pajama pants.

"You're going out in your pajamas?" Paula gawked.

Samus looked up. "Nobody cares. It's like one big happy family when you're an All-Star, Paula," she smiled, although her words were sarcastic, "Nobody really cares about what you wear around them."

"Captain Falcon might," Paula interjected.

"Ness told you about him, then?" Samus's eyes narrowed as she sat on one of the beds and struggled to put on an old pair of boots.

"He sounds rather annoying," Paula scowled as well, then laughed as she looked at Samus. "You look so _weird_!! You're wearing pajama pants and boots?"

"O-kay…" Samus cocked her head. "That was _way_ too much like something Peach would say…" She took her hair out of its braid and pulled it back with a large blue headband. "Come on, let's go say hi."

~~~

"Maybe they're still fighting…" Peach said worriedly as the girls walked towards the doors to the lounge. There were loud voices and even louder music.

"What do you mean?" Samus paused. "Who's fighting?"

"Fox and Falco and Wolf…" Krystal sighed distastefully. "They've been fighting about _something_ ever since we got here…"

"Just a few hours, then," Zelda shrugged, and opened the doors.

The fighting had indeed settled down, and the fighters seemed to have gone on to pursue separate activities. The reddish brown fox and the blue falcon were sitting in front of a large entertainment system playing Sonic Adventure 2: Battle, and the gray wolf with the eyepatch had joined the table of the group that was affectionately called "The Ring O' Evil", because it contained Bowser, a Koopa with a spiked shell, Ganondorf, a dark-skinned wizard with reddish hair, and Mewtwo, a catlike psychic Pokémon. And now it seemed to have added Wolf, as well as…

"Hey, Sam…" Zelda pointed at one of the new arrivals at that table. "Isn't that Ridley? Isn't it?" She pursued when Samus didn't say anything, "Isn't it? Isn't it? Isn't it?"

"Oh, shut up." Samus mumbled and walked over to the entertainment system, Krystal and Katt following. Paula looked around and spotted a black-haired boy in a baseball cap and a striped shirt playing checkers with a pink puffball. Zelda saw a blonde-haired teenager in a green tunic looking disappointedly at a younger version of him as they came out of another room, and walked over to comfort him. 

"And finally, she arrives!!" Fox said as Samus arrived, and spread his arms in a "ta-da!" pose. "Samus Aran, fashionably late as usual!"

"_Fashionably_, indeed…" Katt raised an eyebrow as she sat comfortably next to Falco. "You look like you're from Texas."

"Shut up," Samus repeated. "Fox, Falco, isn't this restricted to Nintendo-made games only?"

"Who asked you, gamer purist?" Falco retorted hotly. "Besides, it's on Gamecube, isn't it?!"

"It was originally on Dreamcast," Katt cut in.

"Who asked _you_?!" Falco asked.

"So what? I can add my opinion if I want to!!" Katt shot back. "Don't bite my head off just because Fox is beating you miserably!!"

"Shut up!! I can beat him any time I want to!!"

"Betcha can't!"

"Oh yeah?!"

"Yeah!!"

"OH YEAH?!

"YEAH!!"

"YOU'RE ASKING FOR IT, _BAKA NEKO_!!"

"WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?!?!"

"YOU HEARD ME!!!"

"I'LL BEAT YOUR ASS!!!"

"BRING IT ON!!!"

Katt and Falco, both red in the face from yelling, turned on their heels and stomped through the two doors at the end of the room. Krystal sat on the edge of a nearby DDR machine, a soda in her hands.

"Those two," she huffed, "They've been fighting even before we got on this ship."

"Oh, I see…" Samus grinned, and waltzed over to the nearby bar, taking a pre-made frappuchino from the refrigerator, then walked over to watch Katt and Falco fighting on the television screens.

The door to the lounge flew open with a bang, making Peach jump and knocking Wolf off his perch on the table.

"Have no fear," a man in a blue bodysuit and red helmet cheered. "Captain Falcon is here!!"

"AAAH!!!" Samus screamed mockingly.

Falcon laughed, swiped a beer from the bar, and stood by Samus, watching the monitors. "Got in another fight again?" he asked.

"Hmm," Samus nodded.

"Are you alone again this year?" Captain Falcon asked again.

"I wish," Samus replied flatly, wishing she had at least brought her arm cannon with her. "But you are, aren't you?" Was it her imagination, or was he standing WAY too close to her?

BONK!!

It didn't matter, because a three-toed foot slammed down on Falcon's back, knocking him to the floor. Ridley rested his arm on his knee, and cupped his head with his hand. "What's up, doc?"

"Not funny," Samus frowned. 

Katt and Falco walked out of the room, arguing again, but stopped dead when they saw what was going on. The Ring O' Evil had erupted into cheers, and even Zelda was trying to hide a laugh. Falcon struggled out from under Ridley's foot and stood up quickly.

"Who the hell are you?" He scowled.

"Don't you know?" Ridley grinned. "I'm Ridley. I came here with Sam," he jerked his head over to Samus, who hid a scowl.

"You're one of the new fighters, then, aren't you?" Capt. Falcon raised an eyebrow. "And you came with… Samus…" A look of false realization dawned on his face.

"Uh…" Samus held up her hands. "I think there's a misunderstanding."

"And here I thought I would be the first!" Falcon clutched his head with his hands.

"…First?" Ridley and Samus looked at each other. "…………………EW!! NO WAY!!"

"Should we help them?" Fox asked, concerned.

"Forget it," Krystal threw her empty cup into the trash. "He's on a roll."

"Then you did this!!" Falcon began to shout, "And that, too!! And oh my sweet God, you did the other thing!!"

"THAT'S DISGUSTING!!" Samus shouted.

"ARE YOU CRAZY?!" Ridley screeched, "WITH SOMEONE AS FLAT AS SHE IS?!" The comment earned him a hard kick in the shin. (And even if you're a hardcore space dragon, a kick in the shin with combat boots is the kind that hurts the most)

Falcon suddenly regained his senses and pointed at Ridley. "You'll PAY for that!!" He challenged, and ran out of the lounge.

"I don't think I've ever been more disturbed in my life," Samus said monotonously.

"What do you expect?" Falco chuckled. "He's an idiot."

Samus looked at Falco. "You're no better."

Falco smiled and bowed low to the ground.

The clock chimed twelve, and the activity in the room began to slow down. Katt joined Krystal in a DDR match, but they got bored halfway through and left for their rooms. Ridley joined the Ring O' Evil, who were still snickering. Fox and Falco finished a few versus matches in Star Fox 64 and left the room yawning. Paula left with the pink puffball, Kirby, and the boy in the striped shirt, Ness, the three of them arguing about the outcome of the checkers game. Zelda left with the taller blonde boy, Link, who was carrying the smaller boy, a sleeping Young Link, on his back. Samus flipped her hair over her shoulders in an uncharacteristic fashion and walking out of the lounge.

"You owe me one, _Lady_," Ridley sneered from the corner table.

Samus bristled, clenched her fists, and turned to glare at Ridley before stalking out, slamming the door behind her. Her bad mood continued as she lurked down the halls, looking forward to a hot bath and a good night's sleep. Maybe in the morning she would go into the training room and take out some stress on whichever poor sucker messed with her that day.

But as she turned the key to her door, she heard a buzzing noise, as if a loud fly was hovering a few feet away. She quickly turned around, and scanned the hallway, but saw nothing.

"What…?" She shrugged, and slowly walked into her room, locking the door from the inside for the night.

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Didn't I tell ya? What a stupid way to end this thing! …Oh…? I didn't tell you? Oh, well I'm telling you now. What a stupid way to end this thing! Hope you keep reading, 'cause this gets better and funnier by the day!! I think…

~ M


	2. The Arrivals

A/N: What?! An update?! Yeah, so it would seem. Yippee. After this I think I'll take a break and start working on some other ones, namely the Angel of Death Book 2 and Soul Calibur 2003 (Or should it be 2004? Nah.). Also should start working on Metroid stuff s'more… We'll just see.

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Chapter Two:

The Arrival(s)

~~~

The train was empty except for three people. One of them was a girl with auburn hair and blue-green eyes. She wore a black denim jacket over a black T-shirt and baggy dark blue pants, and had her hair tucked up in a ponytail underneath a brown newspaper boy cap. She was watching _Spirited Away_ on the TV screens with wide eyes. Another of the three was a girl with dark brown hair in a ponytail and blue eyes. Her hair was also in a ponytail and she wore a baseball-type shirt that said "Hell's Fire" on it, and tight denim capris that stopped at the knees. She was also watching the movie, but with less interest. The third girl was glued to a laptop, on which she was playing the Sonic 2 Beta ROM. She also had dark hair, but glasses rimmed her dark brown eyes. She wore a purple and black tank top and dark jeans.

"JJ…… I'm boooooored…" The light brown-haired girl groaned.

"So read," the blue-eyed girl replied.

"I've read all the books I brought."

"Draw."

"Can't think of anything."

"Watch the movie."

"Seen it."

"Sleep."

"Not tired."

"Jeez, Megun-chan," The brown-eyed girl whined. "How about you run up and down the aisle and get rid of that excess sugar?"

"You're one to talk, Chrissy," JJ and the brown-eyed girl exchanged looks. Megun-chan stood up and huffed.

"Maybe I _will_," she frowned, and ran up and down the aisle, making as much racket as she could. After a few laps, she stopped and sat down again. "I'm still bored."

"Hey," Chrissy turned around in her seat to look at the other two girls. "Don't you think it's weird that we're the only ones on this train?"

"Yeah," JJ took out a letter and looked at it impatiently. "Out of all the people in the world, why were _we_ selected to go to this tournament thing?"

"Maybe they played darts with a phone book?" Megun-chan suggested, and withered under the looks the other two gave her. "Sorry. They said that in a movie once. It was an idea."

"Or maybe it's because we're such big Nintendo fans?" Chrissy shrugged. "But we really don't know how to fight…"

"There's gonna be training there," Megun-chan turned around in her seat and looked over the back of her chair.

"How do you know?" Chrissy asked.

"Why wouldn't it?"

"I see your point…" Chrissy folded the laptop and opened _Fushigi Yûgi_ graphic novel number 5. "Otherwise they wouldn't have picked us, would they?"

"Unless they did throw darts at a phone book," JJ leaned back in her chair. "And didn't know that we totally suck at fighting."

"Well, I don't know about _you_, JJ…"

"They wouldn't do that without knowing," Megun-chan replied. "There are a lot more people out there who don't know how to fight. And awhile ago, you didn't seem too keen on the darts idea."

"Well, it's _possible_…" JJ replied shortly. "And it would make sense…"

"After then look you gave me after I suggested it, I thought you didn't like that idea!"

"Yes, it is a stupid idea, but that doesn't mean it's impossible, does it?" JJ snapped.

"Well, ex-cuuuuse _me_, Princess!" Megun-chan smirked as JJ shuddered. Reciting that line from the 80's Zelda series was Megun-chan's favorite way to push her friend's buttons.

"I still think that man on the platform had something to do with it," Chrissy piped in.

"Yeah, he was weird, wasn't he?" JJ agreed. "I mean, he-"

She stopped suddenly as the intercom came on. "Approaching the last stop, Mushroom Kingdom. Repeat, this is the last stop. Mushroom Kingdom, everybody off…"

The screens turned off, and the girls stuffed their things into their backpacks. They hurried off the train onto an empty platform. The train station was rather small. Separating the platform and a dirt road leading off in three directions was only a ticket booth and a restaurant.

"What the-" Megun-chan took her hat off. "Nobody's here…"

"Excuse me!!" A voice called out from close to the ground. A Toad was jumping up and down and waving his arms excitedly. "I'm down here!!"

"Oh!" Megun-chan bent down so she could look the Toad in the eye.

"This really _is _the Mushroom Kingdom, isn't it?" JJ looked around. "But I can't see the castle…"

"Your train arrived early!" The Toad spoke up. "The others are arriving by boat, and won't be here for another few hours!!"

"So what do we do?" JJ took the bags from the conductor and dropped them in front of her and the other girls. "Can we go to the castle anyways?"

"I suppose you _could_…" The Toad frowned, thinking. "But it would be better if all the fighters went together."

"Let's go to the docks," Megun-chan said. "I've never been to one before."

"It would be pretty cool to see the Smashers, wouldn't it?" Chrissy asked.

JJ sighed. "Okay," she said. "But how will we get there?"

"Isn't it obvious?" Chrissy laughed as she pointed to a green pipe that appeared at the entrance to the restaurant. "In those!"

"Oh dear God no…" JJ smacked her head.

~~~

Krystal was sitting Indian-style on a chair in the lounge when Samus came storming in the next morning, clothed in her Varia Suit. She had never seen the bounty huntress in such a bad mood. Of course, not a lot could be given away if Samus wasn't in her armor. However, the way she threw open the door and made a lot of noise when she stomped across the lounge into the training room was nothing short of angry.

"…………Man, she looks PO'ed," Link said as he handed Krystal a glass of juice. "Oh, which reminds me, we'll be arriving at Mushroom Kingdom today, pass it on."

"Thanks," Krystal nodded. 

Wondering how Samus's temper reminded the Hylian of their destination time, she leaned backwards and tapped Bowser on the shoulder, relaying the message, which passed around the present members Ring O' Evil and made its way around the rest of the room in about a half an hour.

"Wouldn't it just be easier to make an announcement?" Kirby asked.

"No, because some people are probably still asleep," Ness replied, with the slightest emphasis on "some".

Peach, who was sitting next to Krystal, forced down a laugh; Prince Marth, his redheaded friend Roy, and Falco, among others, were infamous for being able to stay up till four AM and sleep until one o'clock PM. 

"You've got to feel sorry for their roommates and the people in the rooms next to them," Zelda smiled, still watching _Kung Pow: Enter the Fist _on the television. "I don't know who it was, but _somebody _was playing the White Stripes really loudly across the hall from Peach's and mine's room." She suddenly started laughing very hard. "Mu-shu-fasa! I love this part!!"

"Probably Ridley," Samus barged in, taking off her suit to reveal neon pink bike shorts and a large black t-shirt. Unlike the night before, her hair was loose, and her bangs had fallen over her right eye. "He's in the same room as Wolf." She took a pack of instant ramen and thrust in the microwave that was perched on top of one of the speakers.

"God help us," Krystal laughed. "Oh, Sam, did you hear the message?"

"No, what?"

"We're going to arrive at the Mushroom Kingdom today," Katt had her feet propped up on the table and was playing _Final Fantasy Tactics_ on a pink Game Boy Advance. 

"Oh. 'Kay," Samus pulled her ramen out of the microwave and walked over to her Varia Suit. Ripping open one of the giant shoulders, she dislodged a red and silver CD player and some headphones from the suit, walked back over to the table the girls were gathered at, slouched in a chair, propped her feet up like Katt, and submerged herself in loud rock music.

"What kind of CD is that?" Peach raised an eyebrow and looked astonished.

"I burned it," Samus shrugged.

"And on the CD is…"

"…………………Garbage," Samus closed her eyes.

"That's not a nice way to talk about the music you like…" Zelda frowned.

"_No,_" Samus sighed. "I meant the _band_ is called Garbage."

"Oh," Peach nodded "You like Garbage, don'tcha?"

"Duh."

The door opened again, and this time, two teenage boys walked into the room. One had dark blue hair, which was usually neat but now slightly disheveled, and was taller and older than the other boy. His comrade was a redhead, and his hair was also very messy, which it usually was. Both boys were dressed in medieval armor, and were yawning as they slouched in chairs in front of the TV.

"Good morning, gentlemen," Zelda said in a rather loud, slow voice. "We'll be arriving soon. At the Mushroom Kingdom."

"We understand you, Zelda," Marth scoffed with a vague Japanese accent. "Just because we don't normally speak English doesn't mean we're stupid."

Zelda blinked, taken aback. "So much for my previous assumptions," she said, just as a large bag of thick, big pretzel sticks flew across the room and hit her directly on the head. 

"Cigars, anyone?" A smooth, clear voice cut across the room.

"STUPID CANADIAN!!!" Samus screamed without warning. "YOUR AIM SUCKS!!!"

"Ex-cuuuuse _me_, Princesses!!" With an unusually catlike agility, the gray wolf leapt up onto the back of an empty chair, and swooped down on the fallen bag of pretzel cigars.

~~~

Elsewhere in the Nintendo Universe, a teenager with brown hair stiffens, falls over and starts twitching uncontrollably. Megun-chan and Chrissy stood above JJ as she was having her seizure.

"JJ, are you okay?" Chrissy asked.

"N-N-No…"

~~~

Back on the ship…

Peach blinked and Zelda scowled. Katt hid a snicker, and Krystal scoffed and grabbed a Snicker's bar she had been hiding under the couch. In the blink of an eye, though, Samus ducked down and grabbed the pretzel cigars from the ground and held them high above her head. Wolf just stood still and looked straight up at her.

"You're very tall," he commented.

"Shuddap." Samus ripped open the bag and stuck a pretzel cigar in her mouth.

"Hey, guys!!" Ness exclaimed as Mewtwo opened the doors to the lounge and entered. "Guess what Mewtwo-sama and I found out!!"

Mewtwo instantly turned around and began to walk out.

"Hey, c'mon, Mewtwo-sama!!" Zelda called. "What did you find out?"

Mewtwo rolled his eyes and turned around. "_Stupid human,_" he narrowed his eyes at Ness. "_You waited until I got in here, didn't you? Forget it. I'm gone_."

"We found out who the other fighters are going to be!" Ness smiled triumphantly.

"Yeah, right."

"You're kidding, Ness!"

"Is that true, Mewtwo-sama?" Wolf looked at the psychic Pokémon, "Do you know who the other victi- err, _fighters_- are going to be?"

Mewtwo lowered his head and thought for a moment. "_………….No. Ness is just an idiot and he's making it up to get attention._"

Ness frowned. "If I did, then why did I include you?"

Wolf snatched the bag from Samus and earned himself a punch in the gut as well.

"_Because you were going to say I didn't do anything and take all the credit for yourself and prove you're better than me_," Mewtwo visibly smirked as Ness's frown deepened.

"Liar." Ness stuck his tongue out.

"Ladies and-a gentlemen!!" Mario's voice rang through the lounge as well as the rest of the ship. "We have arrived at the-a Mushroom Kingdom!! Please return-a to your staterooms and begin-a-"

BOOM!!

Everyone was suddenly shoved to one side as a violent motion moved through the ship. Any further announcements made were drowned out by shrieks of terror, cries of annoyance, and a shout of "Iceberg, dead ahead!!" by Wolf.

"Mama mía!! Eh… sorry about that-a, folks…" Mario exclaimed. "We hit the dock a little-a rough-a. No big deal, though. Just-a pack your stuff and-a prepare to depart-a the ship."

"'No big deal', he says," Krystal rolled her eyes. "Stupid plumber. I bet we'll be under water in less than five."

"Seconds or minutes?" Roy looked up, a little frightened.

Krystal rolled her eyes. "I was _joking_, Roy…"

~~~

"WOW!!" Megun-chan brushed her bangs from her eyes as she gawked up at the ship. "They came in _that_?! It looks like the _Nautilus_!"

"It seems big enough…" JJ blinked. "And look!! Someone's coming out!"

The first person to descend the stairs to the dock was an attractive woman with shoulder-length blonde hair laden with duffel bags. The Toad saw her, and ran to the end of the flight of stairs.

"Greetings, Miss Aran!!" he chirped excitedly, "Welcome to the Mushroom Kingdom!"

"W-Wait a minute…" Chrissy did a double-take. "_Samus Aran_?! No way!!"

"Why not?" Samus smiled and lowered her bags. "Who were you expecting? Peach?"

"Yes?" Peach waved her arm energetically. "Did you call me, Sam? I'm up here!!"

Samus rolled her eyes. "_No_, Peach. I didn't. Come on down."

Megun-chan and JJ exchanged glances, and frantically looked at Chrissy, who had her hands clenched and a look of contempt on her face. "C'mon, Chris… This is stupid," JJ put her hand on her friend's shoulder.

"That… dumb… blonde…" Chrissy gritted her teeth.

"Oi!!" Samus glared at Chrissy. "_I'm_ blonde!"

"But you're not dumb," JJ cut in, and walked over to Samus. "Chrissy has bad experiences with the whole Mario series," She whispered.

"Why?"

"Wouldn't you be mad after learning that the person you spent countless hours of your live trying to save can fight?"

"Oh."

Next down came the other girls, who greeted Chrissy, JJ, and Megun-chan, and grouped around talking. In order to impress Samus, Captain Falcon tried to grind down the railing of the stairs (without a skateboard), but lost his balance and fell into the water. Ridley saw this as he flew off the deck of the boat, and had to land quickly so he could fall down laughing properly. Pichu tried the same thing Captain Falcon did, and succeeded, but only because Mewtwo helped balance him with his psychic powers. One by one, they all came off the ship in their own way and greeted the girls.

Falco and Fox were the last ones off. "Sorry," Fox shrugged. "I had trouble waking bird brain up."

"Excuse me?!" Falco whipped around. "Forget it. I'm going back to sleep when we get to the castle."

"Awwww… Poor poor Falco-san…" Katt smiled and glomped his arm.

"Get _off_ me, Katt!"

Katt let go, and gave Falco a deserved kick in the shin. "Jerk," she grumbled.

Megun-chan couldn't help but laugh. The laughter caught in her throat, however, as she spotted Kirby, who was mocking Falco behind his back. Falco noticed her staring, and turned around. "Oi, you little-"

"_He's mine_!!" Megun-chan said quietly, and stepped forward. Kirby did the same, confused but ready to fight.

"Kirby, you're a cute little thing and I have nothing against you, but YOU MUST DIE!!" Megun-chan roared as she lunged at Kirby.

"O…kay…" Marth blinked. "If she doesn't have anything against Kirby, why does she want to kill him?"

"Her little brother always played as Kirby," JJ replied.

"Ah." Marth looked at JJ and found he was blushing. "Er… uh… I don't think I've caught your name. You have me at a disadvantage."

JJ looked up and blushed as well. "Uh… J…J… I'm JJ." She suddenly broke into a huge smile. "Marth, you're hot!!"

Marth blinked. "Well, thank you! I'm glad you think that!"

"That's all fine and dandy," Roy said quickly. "But shouldn't we stop them?"

Megun-chan and Kirby were dustcloud-fighting fiercely, and struggling towards the edge of the dock. It took the combined power of Samus, Link, Ridley, and Mewtwo to separate the two. Kirby was torn away by Samus and held tightly by Link, while the still-struggling Megun-chan was pulled back by Mewtwo and held still by Ridley.

"Come _on_!!" Megun-chan shouted. "Let me get this out of my system!"

"You can do it later, Megun-chan," JJ said disapprovingly. "Now let's get to the castle in one piece."

Obediently, Megun-chan relaxed. "Okay…"

~~~

"Well, here we are…" Luigi, Mario's younger, green-clothed brother, opened the doors to the castle and took a deep breath. "Home, sweet home…"

"Your rooms are upstairs, as they were last year, and the year before…" Mario gestured up the stairs to a corridor that stretched to the left and right. "Will the girls please show our newcomers where their rooms will be?"

"Yeah," Samus looked at Megun-chan. "I guess you'll room with me, kiddo."

"Don't call me kiddo!" Megun-chan frowned and stamped her foot. "I'm not a little kid! Besides, that's what JJ's sister calls me."

"What? I thought you didn't mind when Kori called you 'kiddo'." JJ shrugged. "Then Chrissy and I are stuck together."

"You make it sound like it's a bad thing!!" Chrissy exclaimed.

"Of course not!!" JJ grinned. "I was just kidding."

"Training doesn't officially start-a until-a tomorrow," Mario nodded, "but the-a tournament is-a less than two months away. After you-a put your things away, you can-a choose to-a train some or just-a hang. Let's-a get started!"

~~~

The man sat in the dark lounge chair, watching the All-stars disperse in the main hall through a live video feed. "Are they all here?"

"A few will be coming later, my lord." A monotonous voice responded. The man stood up and turned to face the speaker; a man constructed completely out of blue and purple wires. The man himself was middle-aged, and dressed in a black tuxedo with shiny black shoes and white Mickey Mouse-style gloves.

"Good." He smiled and turned back to the screen, and with the pushing of a few buttons, the video feed switched to show each of the All-Stars in their rooms, the training halls, the kitchen, and other rooms in the castle.

"_Let the games begin…_"


	3. Training

As the dwarf Mulch Diggums says in the third Artemis Fowl book: "Finally, a breakthrough!!" Wai!! I'm so proud of myself for writing this chapter. It's really hard. And I've been really busy, dammit. But enough about me. Enjoy the show!! Er… the story. You get it.

* * *

****

Chapter Three:

Training

~~~

Mario had given the fighters the option to train or lounge around. Many of them chose the latter option, and the recreation room was jam-packed that afternoon. But there was no time for fun for Megun-chan, JJ, or Chrissy. Being the only three people who didn't have much of a fighting background, they were thrust violently into the training room along with the people who would be helping them.

Wouldn't you know it: It was Mewtwo, Bowser, and Ganondorf.

"Come ON, you girl!!"

"Your aiming sucks JJ."

"Thanks."

"So much for trying to do this together…" Bowser smacked his forehead.

"Okay," Ganondorf spoke to the three, "This always works: Think of someone you hate the most and pound the crap out of me. I mean, them. I mean… Whatever."

Chrissy grinned. "Thanks for the tip, G-dork!"

JJ and Megun-chan snickered.

"Well… who should I hate?" JJ asked. "I mean there's Ramsey and Tanya and Sean and other... people..."

"Uh… Eenie-meenie-miney-moe?" Chrissy shrugged.

"Guess that means Ramsey." JJ said and concentrated. Suddenly, her eyes opened, filled with rage, and she punched Ganondorf in the nose. He flew backwards and smacked into the wall of the Hyrule Temple. She then turned around, gave a battle cry a la Christy Carlson-Romano in the Even Stevens movie, and ran after Mewtwo screaming.

"……Wow." Megun-chan and Chrissy were in awe. Megun-chan turned to her friend. "What about you, Chrissy?"

"Oh, that's easy!" Chrissy smiled. "I'll think of Peach!"

Ganondorf's eyes bulged. "Hoooooooly crap…"

Chrissy gained the same concentrated look as JJ had. Finally, her eyes snapped open, she raised her 6-foot 120-pound sword high above her head, and screamed.

"WHAT THE F-?!?!" Ganondorf screamed.

"My thoughts exactly." Bowser nodded.

"It's the 'magic' sword," Megun-chan answered, making quotation marks with her fingers when she said "magic". "She was 'destined' for it."

"……….Oh…" Ganondorf yelled in faux terror, and ran off, Chrissy in hot pursuit.

"………" Megun-chan watched as the two disappeared into another battle arena. "So… now what?"

WHACK!!

Bowser ran up and smacked Megun-chan across the face. The impact sent Megun-chan reeling back, screaming. She tripped at the edge of the platform and fell down onto the dirt below. Bowser jumped off the platform and prepared to squash her, but Megun-chan leapt up and flipped backwards onto another platform.

"…Who knew?" She shrugged and ducked as Bowser tried to scratch her again. Her hand landed on her hip and she felt the deck of Bicycle Poker cards in the pouch at her waist.

"Eh?"

~~~

The three girls walked through the weapons room in amazement. It was as big as the foyer had been, lined with every single kind of weapon imaginable. Hell, it even had extra copies of Marth's sword as well as Roy's and Link's and Ganondorf's, as well as the Power Suit in many different colors.

"Neato." JJ said as she poked Marth's sword.

"Yeah." Megun-chan nodded. "But you like using your fists more, right?"

"Hell yeah." JJ grinned.

"Ooh!! Lookit!" Chrissy shouted excitedly and pointed to a large, 6-foot sword hanging on the wall.

"That's awfully heavy…" JJ said as she tried to lift it. Chrissy looked disappointed, but stood on her toes and took the sword from the wall and swung it over her back with no apparent difficulty.

"…Wooooooooooow…"

"Hey, JJ," Megun screamed as she pointed to a pair of gloves, "how bout these?"

The gloves mentioned were black leather fingerless gloves. JJ's face lit up in interest as she put the gloves on. "Score. They fit perfectly." As she made a few punches into the air.

"So what about you, Megun-chan?" Chrissy asked.

"Huh? Me? Well…" Megun-chan looked around, and spotted a small leather belt lying on a table. Attached to the belt was a small leather case, large enough to hold a deck of playing cards. Funnily enough, the deck holder glowed with an eerie blue light.

"The hell?" Megun-chan walked over to it and took the cards from their pack. She picked one card off the deck, and noticed it was attached to the card below it with a blue electric-looking chain. "Nifty."

~~~

'Oh YEAH!!' Megun-chan smiled, and took the cards from her hip. She took the cards and flung them at Bowser. They acted like razor blades, and Bowser was knocked back. The cards glowed, and flew back to Megun-chan, knocking Bowser down once again.

"Interesting." Bowser landed and looked at the cards.

"Now, let's see…" Megun-chan put her hand on the top card, and flipped it over. She looked at it, and held it out. "Hey. Ace of Spades. What does that do?"

BOOM!! (But that size of the font hardly does the word justice. Try "BOOM!!!" in, like, font 847,972,991)

A dustcloud rose over the Hyrule Temple level. Over in the Fountain of Dreams level, JJ and Mewtwo heard the explosion and turned around in shock.

"The hell?" JJ blinked, coming out of her angry Ramsey-induced trance.

"_The hell indeed_." Mewtwo nodded.

"Somehow I'm scared… Wanna check it out?"

"_It was Bowser and Megun-chan. Enough said._"

JJ still looked slightly interested, if not worried or mildly concerned.

"_We can't die on the battle stages, JJ_." Mewtwo said. "_So stop being stupid and worrying._"

"Megun-chan and Bowser…" JJ shrugged. "Chemical imbalance in the brains, don't worry about it."

"_Exactly what I said._"

"No, you didn't." JJ turned around, and a Shadow Ball smacked her right in the face. "OW!!" she shrieked. "What the bloody-?!"

"_I did too say don't worry about it._" Mewtwo flew forward, but earned a punch in the chest. He jumped up onto one of the platforms raised upwards by the water fountains. JJ leaped up onto the second one and made a gigantic leap onto Mewtwo's platform. She tried a low kick, but he flipped behind her, spun her around, and grabbed her by the collar of her shirt.

"_JJ, your aim _does _suck," _He commented, and threw her onto the ground., "_We'll have to work on that_." Mewtwo leapt into the air and purple-colored psychic energy began to glow around him. JJ gasped as he fell down towards her, but rolled out of the way. Mewtwo landed feet-first, and spun around, thus receiving a kick in the face.

~~~

Meanwhile, Chrissy had chased Ganondorf into Onett, where they had fought a heated battle and were now standing on opposite roofs, exhausted.

"I'm… still surprised… you can use… such a huge… sword…" Ganondorf panted.

"Thanks…" Chrissy replied. "What… did… Megun-chan say? …It was a 'magic' sword and I… was… 'destined' for it?" 

Ganondorf nodded. Chrissy pulled herself up, and picked up an item that had fallen by her foot. It was a Maxim tomatoes, and when Chrissy ate it, she suddenly felt more energetic, and lifted the sword. When Ganondorf lunged at her again, she swung it above her head, and he was knocked backwards by the blade, landing on the ground. There was a shrill whistle coming out of nowhere, and a car zoomed by, knocking the King of Evil into the wall and then back onto the floor again. Chrissy leapt down onto the ground too, but Ganondorf snatched a Pokéball and threw it at her. Chrissy threw out her hand, and a blue-colored shield came up. It rebounded off the shield and landed on the floor. Sensing danger within the Pokéball, Chrissy jumped back onto a roof where she waited.

"Goldeen…" The orange and white fish Pokémon Goldeen flopped around helplessly on the floor.

"BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAA!!!!" Chrissy laughed and fell over, pointing a finger at Ganondorf. "Loser!"

BOOM!!

Chrissy leapt up and turned around. Over in the east, a mushroom-shaped dustcloud had risen into the air. "Wow," was all she could manage.

~~~

"I get it!!" A slightly charred Megun-chan, sitting on a fallen Bowser, pounded her fist into her hand. "It's like Mr. Game & Watch's attack! If I pull out a Diamond, my opponent is burned…" She pulled out a Jack of Diamonds, and Bowser was blown a little bit off the ground, flames coming off his body as he shouted in pain and annoyance.

"And if I pull out a Spade…" She took the Nine of Spades off the top of her deck, and nimbly flipped onto an upper level of the Temple as Bowser vanished in an explosion. "Then they blow up!

"Club cards freeze them…" Bowser was encased in ice for a few seconds when Megun-chan took out the Seven of Clubs.

"And Heart cards heal me!" She held the Queen of Hearts up in the air, and the signs of any damage she had taken vanished. "The number on a card is one-third of the damage my opponent gets… Two being the lowest card… and the Ace is the highest possible damage-"

"CUT IT OUT!!!" Bowser roared as he stood up. "Stop explaining things!! End simulation!!"

"…………Sorry." Megun-chan looked up at Bowser sheepishly, then turned around in surprise as the Hyrule Temple faded into a plain, albeit large, white room. After a few seconds, Mewtwo and JJ appeared in one of the corners of the room, and Ganondorf and Chrissy in the other corner.

" Chrissy looked at Bowser. "……Wow. What happened to you? Megun-chan, did you do that?"

"HELL, YEAH!! THAT'S THE FUNNIEST DAMN THING I'VE SEEN IN MY WHOLE LIFE!!!" One of the walls turned into a window looking out into the recreation room. Falco, who had just spoken, was leaning back in a chair laughing hysterically. "You gals ROCK!!"

Megun-chan, JJ, and Chrissy grinned. "Yeah, we didn't do so bad for our first try…" JJ replied. "And it felt like we really knew what we were doing."

"Speak for yourself," Megun-chan nudged JJ as they left the room.

"Oh, come on, kid." Samus took off her helmet and set it on the table. "You did fine."

"It was fun seeing those guys get the crap kicked out of them." Ridley gave the girls a toothy, crocodile-like grin.

Ganondorf did a sudden double take. "Ridley, when did you go Meta?"

Everyone turned and stared at him. In the time they had been fighting, Ridley had changed from a dark purplish color to metallic black. Samus had undergone the same change, into her more organic blue-and-yellow Fusion suit.

"Yeah! You guys changed costumes!" Chrissy pointed at them. "It looks cool!"

Samus blinked, then smiled. "Right! Mario, you didn't tell them!"

"Tell us what?" All six fighters asked.

Mario cleared his throat. "Ahem. In addition to the color-a scheme changes that have-a been available during the-a tournaments, this-a year we added costume changes as-a well.   
Each of-a the costume changes modify-a the stats of the fighter who-a changes costume. For example: Samus is-a wearing her Fusion-a suit, which adds five-a points of damage to each of her-a special attacks-a, the Charge-a Beam, and so on. The various-a costumes are-a accessible… Ah, forget it-a. We'll-a just have to-a show you."

"That DOES sound like fun!" Megun-chan clasped her hands. "It's just like equipping different stuff in an RPG, like in Chrono Trigger or something!"

"Yeah, Megun-chan," JJ nodded and raised her eyebrows. "But we didn't bring any other outfits besides pajamas and whatnot."

"The costumes are already provided, really," Peach came into the rec room carrying a tray of drinks and a box of Vanilla Wafers ("Ooh! Nilla Wafers!!" Megun-chan cried, and ran to the table to help herself). "Well, at least for us. Our costumes come from all the different times in our careers."

"So the games, then?" JJ asked.

"Exactly what I said." Peach nodded.

"No, you said your careers," JJ put her hands on her hips. "Do people have a problem with saying what they mean?"

"_No, we just mean what we say, which is an entirely different matter_." Mewtwo folded his arms and smirked.

"No it's- AUGH!! Don't go into this Alice in Wonderland philosophy with me!" JJ threw up her hands. "Just tell me where we can find our stupid costumes!"

"Right here, JJ!" Chrissy suddenly cried out in joy. JJ turned around and backed up with a noise of alarm. Without a sound, it seemed (maybe because JJ had been distracted), Chrissy had changed her costume from her black & purple outfit to another black & purple outfit. But this one JJ recognized as the dress of Pixy Misa, the villain from Magical Project S and Chrissy's number one favorite anime character (apart from Tamahome).

"I'm Mahou Shojo PIXYYYY MISA!!!" Chrissy exclaimed. "OH-HOHOHOHOHOHOHOHOH!!!"

"Damn. She's good." Bowser raised an eyebrow, and Ganondorf nodded.

"How'd you do that?" JJ asked.

"Simple." Chrissy turned around. "I was just thinking about how cool it would be to have an alternate costume and if I did have an alternate costume what it would look like and what it did… Then I thought it would be Pixy Misa's outfit and it would give my B powers more attack like Samus's, and it worked! Yay!"

"Go, Chrissy!!" Megun-chan raised a fist in the air. Fox, who happened to be sitting next to Megun-chan at the time, closed his eyes tight and stuck a finger in his ear. "….Sorry, Fox…"

"It's fine, it's fine," He waved a paw lightly in the air. "I'm tired. Gonna go take a nap or something."

"Aw, Fox," Krystal looked up. "We're just starting to have fun! Game & Watch's going to do Adventure mode next!" She looked over her shoulder at a two-dimensional, completely black character sitting on a chair in front of the viewscreen, who waved and made a clicking noise.

"So you guys _do_ have an Adventure mode thing?" Megun-chan asked. "What's that like?"

"I don't know," Krystal shrugged. "but everyone else does. It's supposed to be really cool."

"Well, while it will be fun watching him pummel a simulated version of me and everyone else," Fox stood up, "I'm sure I won't miss anything I haven't seen before."

"Well, they are adding some new things to it, 'cause of the new characters." Young Link spoke up. "Like, Ridley's gonna be in it, and Paula too, and they're replacing you with Wolf, Falco."

Falco shot Wolf a dirty look, and the latter snorted into his drink.

"Like I said, I'm sure I'll see something like it eventually. Maybe when I get up I'll come take a whack at it. Later." Fox walked out of the rec room, waving casually, and shut the door behind him.

"Hey, Samus?" Peach looked over at the bounty hunter. "Are you and Fox going to start your thing tomorrow?"

Samus leaned back and grinned. "If the conditions are right."

"Wait a second." Krystal leaned forward and took a sip of soda. "What thing?"

"You'll see."

~~~

It silently flew through the air, or as silently as it could when it was what it was. The oncoming darkness didn't matter to it; it saw in infrared. And now it saw a mass of warm bodies grouped behind a large wall. It stopped in the garden and just hovered, waiting for one of the bodies to go astray. Finally it happened. It couldn't tell what the body was; just that it was warm and alive, which was good enough for it. It never moved forward nor backwards, just drifted upwards, following the ascent of the solitary body, stopping when the body arrived three levels up from the ground. It paused for a few hours, then drifted forward. It saw an obstacle immediately. Between it and the body was a large windowpane. It drifted up and down, looking for a way through. Finally, it noticed a crack, and slipped through the windowpane into the room. It noticed by now that the body was a furred animal, which was good. It like the taste of furred animals. Without hesitation it drifted forwards.

Fox McCloud was fast asleep, not noticing the loud buzzing that filled the room. Once or twice his ears twitched, and once he frowned and groaned in his sleep, but then he was still. Deadly still.

* * *

WAI!!! ::hides as people throw items at her:: STOP IT, STOP IT!! Fox isn't dead, you fools!! You'll see. This isn't going to turn into another Angel of Death here. And I would NEVER kill off one of my favorite characters. That makes me sad :(. 

Well, the fourth chapter is on its way, so you'll have to see what happens!! Ta-ta!

~ M


End file.
